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June 23, 2009

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Do NOT watch the movie, The Air I Breathe if you are in the slightest bit sad or in a bad mood.  This might be one of the most incredibly depressing movies I have seen in a long time.  It has a slightly happy ending but even that is bittersweet.  Its a good cast and generally a good movie, its just unbelievably sad.  I think I’m gonna mope the rest of the night til I fall asleep.

The Air I Breathe

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The Challenge June 22, 2009

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Why I love the Real World/Road Rules Challenge?

I found this article which covers my exact feelings on the subject.  The writer “killed it”.

Gaggle of Silverback Apes June 19, 2009

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HAHA I miss Entourage so much.  I’m almost a half step away from doing this to get a job.

June 13, 2009

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Remaining positive is so fucking hard sometimes.

DC Chillin’ June 8, 2009

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As much as I love Baltimore, DC is always my first love.  For those of you that don’t know who Wale is, get to know him.  He’s DC’s next great rapper.  Plus, he grew up about 6 minutes from where i grew up.

[Editor’s Note: Since I’m mentioning Wale, I would be remiss if didn’t add this video of Justice’s D.A.N.C.E remix featuring Wale]

Thom Yorke <3 June 6, 2009

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Radiohead is so fucking good.  There is no counter argument to that fact.  I wish I had Thom Yorke’s voice for 2 reasons: 1) his speaking voice has a British accent and I covet a British accent hardcore and 2) listen to Last Flowers on Radiohead’s In Rainbows Disc 2.

thom-yorke

I do not however want to look like him.  That is one ugly dude.

[Editor’s Note: I’d want a bad ass Jason Statham accent, not a wimpy Hugh Grant accent]

Rant June 2, 2009

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Sometimes, I wish America focused a little more on North Korea and less in the Middle East.  Here’s Why…

north.korea.night.3

That lighted area…That’s South Korea.  That big ass fucking area that’s completely dark…That’s North Korea.  Apparently, 90% of the country lacks electricity.  An estimated 4 million people have died since old Kim Jong Il has been in power, due to warfare? No.  Due to Poverty and Famine.  What happens to all their money? Oh it funds a nuclear program with rockets if shot from Baltimore would have a hard time reaching Frederick.  Honestly, I wish him dead and I really don’t wish death upon anyone.

You know who else I hate…Jon and Kate Plus 8.  Probably not as bad as Kim Jong, but I find them more annoying.  Its really just Kate.  I swear I really do not blame the guy for cheating on her, granted he shouldn’t have done it because he does have 8 kids with the bitch.  That woman is pound for pound, the biggest bitch I have ever seen and being married to her must be hell.  Its the dude’s fault for letting his woman own him so badly.  I’ve caught snippets of the show in passing and from the ten minutes I’ve seen, she has got to be the biggest cunt I have ever seen.  Not to mention, shes had 8 kids.  Could you imagine what that vagina must look like?  I mean dear god, it probably looks like a sheep dog wagging its tongue on a lazy summer afternoon.  The Holland Tunnel probably has less clearance space.  I swear, If I have to see one more fucking article/newspaper cover/interview with either of these nothings, I’m going to go fucking nuts.

I hate the French Open.  It sucks.  Nobody likes the clay playing surface in France.  France sucks.  Its god fucking awful to watch.  I would rather watch old women taking a dump on each other than that shit.

Same goes for the suck-ass NBA Finals match up.

I hate Dick Cheney.  Not on Politics as much.  I mean i do hate his politics.  I hate the fact that you couldn’t find that motherfucker for 8 fucking years cause he was out jerking off in an underground bunker but once his term is up, This mother fucker is on TV every fuckin’ second.  Nobody wants to hear what you have to say, you fucking douche.  I also hate the fact that you and your dickhead look-a-like boyfriend Rush Limbaugh claim to be the new voice/flag bearers of the Republican Party.  I hate the Republican Party now.  When did you guys let yourselves get bullied by the Fundamentalists?  When did the term Intellectual Republican become an oxymoron?  They forget the fact that the term Conservative has to do with way in which you view government’s role in the landscape of society, not in your ideals/values.  Even if you’re a Democrat and you view this as easy pickings to go against this Republican Party, you want the Republicans to reform themselves and become a decent party again.

Oh…and Really Republicans? Reverse Racism? Thats your trump card against Sotomayor.  Thats fucking Dan Bartock logic and I know this because he called me a Reverse Racist for the exact same reasons.  Sometimes, I hate the American Political System.

[Editor’s note: This was added later on…like five minutes later….cause I’m still pissed]

GM….What the fuck.  You wanna know why you guys went under?  It’s cause you have had 20+ fucking years of making suck ass cars that need to get maintenance every 300 fucking miles because you use shitty parts and you don’t have quality control specialists like the Japanese have had since the 80s.  Its also your own fucking arrogance that was your downfall.  Your stupid fucking ignorance and arrogance in believing that you didn’t have competition so you ignored updating and innovating your cars.  You made expensive to make pieces of shits where as your Japanese counterparts made less expensive, better cars that lasted longer.  We had a Dodge Caravan that sucked Dick and ever since then, we’ve learned the lesson of not buying American cars.  Hopefully, that’ll change.  It’s sad because America used to be the king of innovation, but now we apparently outsourced our creativity and ingenuity.

Sorry for this being a really political post and moreso for this being a really angry post.  I’ve been watching a lot of Fox News and MSNBC.  They both suck and they both make me angry.  I think I’m turning into this guy.

Insert Title Here May 29, 2009

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Haha yes.  I just wrote a mopey, depressing, emo post and as I was about to publish it, it got deleted.  I’m pissed cause I spent time on it but I am way more happier that it did not get published.  No point in bringing anybody down with my tales of woe plus I hate being a mopey guy in a blog post.  Seems a little too cliche.

PS. I can’t wait until I become elderly and get into my plan of doing every drug possible.

May 26, 2009

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I just got a netflix membership and I am very excited about it.  Hit me up with suggestions of movies/TV shows that I need to check out.  Alas, Porn is not an option.  I checked.

A Conversation between me and Dann about the greatest movie that hasn’t been made May 19, 2009

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Tell me that you would not see this movie.

charmcityshinobi (7:19:34 PM): for some reason I picture you coming in all cool and with lots of know how.
charmcityshinobi (7:19:42 PM): and they’re all like “tell us more! is target really wonderful?”
Flymojo14 (7:20:29 PM): haha can we have a montage of scenes where its me teaching everyone how to slack off and not get caught doing
Flymojo14 (7:20:58 PM): with you’re the best around playing over it
charmcityshinobi (7:21:47 PM): after we have a montage of you arriving on the scene, wearing shades ready to save the place. like when shane falco shows up in the second half of the replacements and he’s all like “I can lead this team.”
Flymojo14 (7:22:22 PM): we need to hire a deaf guy so i can befriend him
charmcityshinobi (7:22:34 PM): and do the electric slide in the store.
Flymojo14 (7:22:42 PM): haha yes
Flymojo14 (7:23:07 PM): we can have the grizzled old manager who made me believe in myself again
Flymojo14 (7:23:33 PM): still played by gene hackman
charmcityshinobi (7:23:39 PM): naturally.
Flymojo14 (7:25:18 PM): haha can we get it so i was the greatest cashier that target had ever seen but it all came crashing down because i was cocky and did a return without a receipt when ishouldnt have and got booted
Flymojo14 (7:25:51 PM): but then the sports authority guy finds me years later trying to lure me out of retirement
Flymojo14 (7:26:41 PM): “we want you….cause you were the best…you were employee of the month for four straight months”
charmcityshinobi (7:26:45 PM): we could make a whole movie out of this.
charmcityshinobi (7:26:55 PM): “You just need to get your confidence back.”
Flymojo14 (7:27:06 PM): “thats over now….that isnt me anymore…I’ve moved on”
Flymojo14 (7:27:33 PM): wow im gonna start writing a scrupt
Flymojo14 (7:27:36 PM): script
charmcityshinobi (7:28:12 PM): haha it’ll give you something to do.
Flymojo14 (7:28:36 PM): the regional manager doesnt like the hire but will allow it but if i screw up just a little im out
Flymojo14 (7:28:42 PM): a la SWAT
Flymojo14 (7:28:55 PM): he even uses the line “ya feel me?”
Flymojo14 (7:29:26 PM): i dont know if it will be as good as our previous work, Harold and Kumar go to Guantanamo Bay
charmcityshinobi (7:29:42 PM): it’s true, but that’s hard to top.
charmcityshinobi (7:30:00 PM): oh! and you can have a rival at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
Flymojo14 (7:30:36 PM): i like it
Flymojo14 (7:31:16 PM): when im having a problem i can come to a guy whos seen both the good and the bad of the retail world and gives me advice
Flymojo14 (7:31:20 PM): that person being you
charmcityshinobi (7:31:44 PM): agreed. it’s an evil, but a necessary one.
charmcityshinobi (7:31:56 PM): I show you how the world’s not black and white, but shades of gray.
Flymojo14 (7:32:44 PM): of course that scene would have to be shot at a bar with you throwing back shots of whiskey
Flymojo14 (7:34:12 PM): i feel like this movie is like a combination of employee of the month, the replacements, any given sunday
Flymojo14 (7:34:35 PM): maybe a little waiting too
charmcityshinobi (7:34:39 PM): by shots of whiskey you mean shots of apple cider, though I still seem quite intoxicated regardless, and the bar tender’s gotta be like, “That’s enough.” To which I shout back “I”ll tell you when it’s enough!”
charmcityshinobi (7:35:20 PM): yeah, but our movie is better than all four of those.
Flymojo14 (7:35:39 PM): to which you start yelling and just as our scene is about to end you turn and say…”don’t make the same mistakes I made kid”
Flymojo14 (7:36:21 PM): and for some reason, i feel like you would need mutton chops or a beard for this scene
charmcityshinobi (7:37:20 PM): me with mutton chops would be hilarious.
charmcityshinobi (7:37:30 PM): I’d also need a cigar in my hand.
Flymojo14 (7:38:04 PM): definitely
Flymojo14 (7:38:49 PM): so how does this movie end…i say we have a regional competition of the best of the best sports authority has to offer
Flymojo14 (7:39:09 PM): and our store’s golden boy had a bar mitzvah that weekend so i have to go in his place
Flymojo14 (7:39:31 PM): kinda like top gun
Flymojo14 (7:39:50 PM): scratch sports authorty how about the best of the best sports stores
Flymojo14 (7:39:57 PM): so i can go against my dick’s rival
charmcityshinobi (7:40:01 PM): exactly.
charmcityshinobi (7:40:20 PM): he bests you in the beginning of course.
charmcityshinobi (7:40:33 PM): but then something reminds you that you’re better than he, and you reach deep down to beat him.
charmcityshinobi (7:40:38 PM): love interest, perhaps?
Flymojo14 (7:40:46 PM): “so what do they call him….quicksilver…cause hes the fastest cashier there is”
Flymojo14 (7:41:00 PM): sure we can throw that in there
Flymojo14 (7:41:43 PM): can we have it so my bagger dies in a tragic accident
charmcityshinobi (7:42:18 PM): and then you gotta get back in there and finish the job.
Flymojo14 (7:42:22 PM): and the leader of this top gun establishment offers to bag for me cause he worked at a K-mart with my dad twenty years ago
charmcityshinobi (7:42:29 PM): hahahah
Flymojo14 (7:43:07 PM): so im totally reposting this entire convo on my blog or somewhere
charmcityshinobi (7:43:16 PM): good.
Flymojo14 (7:44:20 PM): the movie ends with me and quicksilver managing to tackle a sunday afternoon rush
Flymojo14 (7:44:33 PM): “hey you can cashier with me anytime”
charmcityshinobi (7:44:57 PM): I’d say that’s a good finish.
charmcityshinobi (7:45:12 PM): and then, when the rush is over, you put on your shades and walk out those double sliding doors.
Flymojo14 (7:45:23 PM): haha perfect
charmcityshinobi (7:45:31 PM): as you go, you see me to the side, leaning against the wall, apparently sobered up. I just give you a slight nod and thumbs up.
Flymojo14 (7:46:01 PM): haha amazing
Flymojo14 (7:46:34 PM): you have to be wearing a cowboy hat and leaning up against the wall with the hatt tucked forward covering up your eyes
charmcityshinobi (7:46:52 PM): of course.
Flymojo14 (7:47:08 PM): i see oscar winner right there
charmcityshinobi (7:47:15 PM): definitely.
Flymojo14 (7:47:19 PM): quicksilver-shia le bouf
charmcityshinobi (7:48:09 PM): haha do you really want that competition? the girls will be rooting for him from the get go.
Flymojo14 (7:48:29 PM): fine quick silver-steve buscemi
charmcityshinobi (7:49:08 PM): haha
Flymojo14 (7:49:31 PM): whos a young actor that nobody really likes
charmcityshinobi (7:49:39 PM): nick stahl
Flymojo14 (7:49:45 PM): done
Flymojo14 (7:50:07 PM): whos playing the top gun instructor
charmcityshinobi (7:50:12 PM): hmm..
charmcityshinobi (7:50:20 PM): the one who bagged with your dad?
Flymojo14 (7:50:27 PM): haha yup
charmcityshinobi (7:50:55 PM): not sure just yet, but your store manager/hard ass/jester should be Samuel L. Jackson.
Flymojo14 (7:51:13 PM): absolutely
Flymojo14 (7:51:33 PM): how about jack bauer as the top gun guy
charmcityshinobi (7:51:44 PM): I could see that.
Flymojo14 (7:52:11 PM): and whos the District manager who is giving me the short leash
charmcityshinobi (7:52:39 PM): hmm…
charmcityshinobi (7:52:52 PM): Al Pacino?
Flymojo14 (7:53:35 PM): yeah i was thinking Andy Garcia but both work really well for the role
Flymojo14 (7:54:06 PM): welp there ya go…this bad boy is written and casted now all we need is a script

charmcityshinobi (7:54:39 PM): agreed. I don’t know what studio would turn it down.
Flymojo14 (7:55:28 PM): i would watch it right now
Flymojo14 (7:55:39 PM): and thats my unbiased opinion
charmcityshinobi (7:56:11 PM): oh of course.
Flymojo14 (7:56:56 PM): oh we need a title
Flymojo14 (7:57:39 PM): “express check out”
Flymojo14 (7:58:15 PM): all the good ones are taken
charmcityshinobi (7:58:19 PM): yeah
charmcityshinobi (7:59:31 PM): it could always just be called “Renny” a la “Rudy”
Flymojo14 (7:59:43 PM): haha nice
Flymojo14 (8:00:00 PM): and we can call it a Dann and Renny joint like Spike Lee calls his movies
charmcityshinobi (8:00:14 PM): agreed.
This is the reason why Dann is my friend